Liebster Award I

Q & A

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     Q.What do you think happens after death?

• Our Souls go to a special place created by God and they rest there until the day of Judgement.

     Q.What’s your favorite sport?

• Football (Soccer), I always feel relaxed and forget all my worries watching or playing Football.

     Q.What would you say to your 18 year old self?

• Forget what society will think, don’t worry about the future, or money, just do what you are passionate about. If you choose what you’re passionate about you may earn a little less but will live happy and proud, but if you choose whats financially safe, you may be rich but you’ll never be truly happy.

     Q.Are you an insomniac? If yes, what keeps you up at night?

• Yes, thinking about the past sometimes, regrets over bad decisions, especially the one about choosing the wrong career. Worries about the future, about life or usually the feeling that I am wasting my life and could be much much more than I am right now. Sometimes even when I can’t keep my eyes open, I stay up all night afraid of the new day thinking that I wasted all the previous ones.

     Q.Do you think introverts are better thinkers than extroverts?

• No, they just spend more energy on logical thinking rather than emotional thinking compared to extroverts, plus I believe extroverts are as good thinkers as introverts if not better in the regard that they understand other people better and in several cases make emotional conclusions rather than logical ones and sometimes that helps.

    Q.How would you prioritize the following (beginning from the thing that tops the          list to the one that comes last) : Money – Family – Love – Career – Friends.

• Family – Love – Friends – Career – Money

    Q.Narrate any incident that you’ll never forget?

• Since there are several sad and happy ones, I’ll narrate a happy one. In Fall 2014 I had applied to a few Universities in the US, it was March 2015 now and I had not heard from any of the universities till yet. Then on one one fateful day, 28 March 2015, my birthday I woke up and the first thing I did was check my phone, there on the top of my phone screen was an email notification from Furman University. Goosebumps on my arm, I read “Dear Osama, Congratulations for being Accepted….” this was the only line that mattered, I ran to my parents room, gave them the news, they were ecstatic as I was, it was a mixture of congratulations with Happy Birthday, this was the best birthday present ever. That was one of the days, I had no worry, regret and not a drop of sadness, I was happy, just pure happy.

     Q.What’s your unpopular opinion?

• One opinion I have that I feel would be unpopular among most people since most people act the opposite way, is that you should no have no public pride about your religion, nationality, wealth or social status compared to others. Yes, being happy or feeling lucky to be born in a certain social set is fine, but being proud that you are better than others just because you were born in a rich or religious family or just because you have a certain nationality you are better than the people of other countries is just your ego and radical thought speaking, believing that just because you just belong to a certain group makes you a better individual. No it doesn’t, your individual actions despite what group you belong to should make you good or bad.

    Q.What’s your MBTI personality type? 

• ENFP (The Campaigner), a psychology professor gave this test to my dad (this is when this test wasn’t free and wasn’t on the Internet), it was like magic for me then, so accurate, I just wish I had taken career advice seriously from it too.

    Q.Define adolescence in one word based on your experience?

• The day I found out that my sister would be getting married soon, I realized that we weren’t kids anymore, life’s responsibilities and expectations were just at the doorstep.

Questions

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1. What is your dream in life?
2. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
3. What is your favorite travel destination and why?
4. If it were possible, which era in history would you like to experience and why? 
5. Would you prefer dying as someone who is famous and admired or someone who is unknown but loved?
6. What belief, philosophy, phenomenon, tradition fascinates you the most?
7. Which fantasy/science fiction world would you like to be a part of?
8. When or how do you think does a person achieve maturity? 
9. Which person inspires you the most?
10. Mention one social norm that you think shouldn’t exist.

My Nominees for Leibster Award :

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1. Kate Frantz
2. Rameen
3. Jaya Singh
4. The Fella Twins
5. Sindhuja Manohar
6. Esoterica
7. The Sparkling Words
8. Samantha Rose
9. Fariha
10. SheBeShe

I would firstly like to apologize to Nameera, who so generously nominated me for this award two months ago. I was delayed in thanking her and posting this due to University Course Work and a long episode of depression. Nevertheless, I feel truly honored and humbled to have been nominated, this nomination is much more than I deserve as a blogger.

The Questions were very interesting and I tried to answer them to the best of my understanding.

Thank you so much for this wonderful nomination Nameera

She is an insightful and very talented poet and writer, do check out her amazing blog for beautiful and soul stirring poetry.

Rules

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[Leibster Award]

• Create a new post thanking the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
• Include award graphic.
• Answer the questions provided.
• Make a new set of 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
• Nominate 10 bloggers and share your post with them so they see it.

 

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Verse of the Week

“I sit beside the fire and think
Of all that I have seen
Of meadow flowers and butterflies
In summers that have been

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
In autumns that there were
With morning mist and silver sun
And wind upon my hair

I sit beside the fire and think
Of how the world will be
When winter comes without a spring
That I shall ever see

For still there are so many things
That I have never seen
In every wood in every spring
There is a different green

I sit beside the fire and think
Of people long ago
And people that will see a world
That I shall never know

But all the while I sit and think
Of times there were before
I listen for returning feet
And voices at the door”
― J.R.R. Tolkien

via Verse of the Week

Melody of the Week – In Dreams

I decided to started this section because:

• I always listen to music whenever I read or write, some people think it diverts concentration, but I think it soothes the soul and puts you in a place the article you are reading or writing wants to.
• Music is food for the soul, I think everyone should enjoy music and I want to share what I hear and like so that other people can listen to it too and enjoy it as much as I did.
• I want to appreciate the people who have helped me grow as a person and writer on my fairly new blogging journey, honored to have known all of you.

P.S. if you look at my blog’s header you might see the shape of a guitar.

 

In Dreams – Lord of the Rings

This is “In Dreams” composed by Howard Shore and his wife Elizabeth Cotnoir, sung by a boy church choir for The Lord of the Rings films. The Lord of the Rings has a great part to play in my life, I grew up watching it, it introduced me to the world of imagination and fantasy, I owe my interest and passion for creativity and fantasy to Lord of the Rings, the characters, the music and for the story. This for me is one of the best songs ever. This is eternal bliss and beauty.

I edited this video with lyrics and pictures of my choosing to show what goes through my mind whenever I listen to it. I hope you like it as much as I do. Watch it in HD for the best experience

Whenever I hear this, I always feel like a pure romantic, lost in the beauty of nature, winter and separation. I believe in the idea that the beauty and magic of reuniting with something you love (a person, a place, a state of mind) is only as good as the separation, the greater the separation the more powerful the Reunion.

A very special mention to Holly , a dear friend and a great blogger.

She is a genius poet and a beautiful soul, her symbolism and wordplay is the finest I have ever read.

P.S Holly, the red leaf trees symbolize the wildness and beauty of your hair, personality and poetry.

Check out her amazing blog by clicking the link below:

https://houseofheartweb.wordpress.com/

 

via Melody of the Week

Verse of the Week – Cassandra Clare

“Whatever you are physically…male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy–all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.” ― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

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Understanding Children

Children are people at the peak of their curiosity, wonder, excitement and their ability to learn, develop habits and adapt. Children will ask questions of every nature: funny, insightful, innocent and sometimes they will have these genuine moments of brilliance and ingenuity that will often surprise adults.

The way society is shaped up and the unfortunate firm belief of adults that they are “mature” has always supported the notion that the decisions and problems of adults are more important than those of children. Since the advent of family structures, values and the importance and responsibilities of human relations, children have always been at the bottom of the food chain. Adults always consider what kids do or say as childish behavior, they poorly generalize all the potential and intelligence of a curious young human being to a set of behaviors they expect him/her to have.

I know that children are of course inexperienced and naive, but that does not mean that what they do and think is any less important to what adults do or think. How many times do we attribute a child’s action to just childish behavior? “oh hahaha he/she is just a kid” or “Don’t worry, kids always do stupid and funny stuff”. These are the moments adults neglect their children’s actions and think that their negligence won’t have any long-lasting effect. I often wonder that do they forget how it was like to be a kid? During childhood you are in this ultra sensitive period where people create their impression on you. I will never forget the cousins who didn’t play with me just because I was a kid, the cousins who laughed at me when they caught me doing something stupid or when two of my elder cousins were bullying me by saying that my dad was short in height and their dads were tall and consequently I would be shorter than them. Just for curiosities’ sake, I am taller than both now, but not that it matters because something materialistic like height doesn’t matter to the wise.

I remember when I wanted something and how my parents couldn’t afford it and they would still try to manage the best for me. People think children don’t realize things like this but they do. A child may not know he is being fooled at the time he is being fooled but he realizes it later and may resent you. People think that always stopping a child by making a “harmless” lie or story is a legitimate parenting technique, they need to think it over. Yes, telling your kid’s that when they were born, the angels came to drop them off from the sky is fine because they will discover the truth when they grow up and telling them how a baby is conceived would mess up their childhood and they wouldn’t probably understand. But telling a kid something like don’t go outside “the old man” will kidnap you, or sleep early or the ghosts in the closet will come out. How many of you still race to your bed after turning off the lights? to hide under your blanket so that the ghosts won’t catch you? Some children are afraid of ghosts and the dark and carry these fears even into adulthood, due to the negligence of an adult, who just thinks telling the kid stuff like this will not affect him because he is just a kid.

I am my parent’s only son and I have a younger sister, childhood was tough to me in the sense that I did not have anyone to play with and my parent’s were really over protective of me and didn’t let me play outside (I don’t blame them for this, because both my parent’s parents had raised them in certain ways, my mom was always fearful and my dad’s father was strict and my dad was brought up with the feeling that “you should enjoy time with your family instead of with people outside, good people don’t spend time out on streets, they study and keep it simple”). So I always looked forward to playing with my cousins, I had only one cousin who was my age, others were older and they were friends with each other and not me, I was always trying to find their favor so that they would give me time or consider me as their play friend. I was never fully accepted by them and I would get needy and jealous. The thing is that, we always make excuses to kids, that we are busy or this is not for kids and every kid has a limit of being neglected, we shouldn’t neglect a kid beyond his/her breaking point. I will always remember the cousins who treated me nicely and who didn’t.

The point is, no one takes anything related to kids fairly seriously, “it’s a kids fight”, “kids always cry”, “He is such a spoiled kid”. I don’t think people understand that kids can have psychological problems like stress, depression, anxiety or social pressure. I don’t blame older parents because they were truly oblivious; they thought kids don’t face psychological problems not because they were arrogant or careless but because of the assumption that “kids are weak and act on impulse and desire and that all they do is because of the childishness in them”. This assumption has become a part of our social common sense feeding upon the passing of time. This by far is the worst thing to assume about kids, instead of talking to kids and helping them, parents scold them or beat them. When an adult makes a mistake, he/she just says “Oh sorry” but when a kid does it “stupid, naughty kid, didn’t I tell you to behave?”.

Most kids are misunderstood, I have seen numerous times that a parent was scolding their kid for being naughty but the kid was either trying to do the right thing, or at least he/she thought he/she was. Once my aunt was sick and my cousin who was 5, realized that his mom was sick and in bed so he decided to be the responsible man in the house and he started cleaning the house. While cleaning he dropped a plastic bottle, spilling the liquid inside, he couldn’t reach the napkins so he decided to carry the liquid by cupping it in his hands, it took him 5 turns to carry the liquid from the floor to the sink in the other room, he left a trail of spilled liquid and his mom scolded him when she found out he had made a mess. The poor boy only tried to do his best to care for his sick mom. If an adult had spilled it, his mom would have asked how it had happened first and probably ignore it as an honest mistake, but in the case of kids it is always considered a naughty act at first impulse because kids are “always meddling and wreaking havoc for them”. The irony is that the same adults who think kids are impulsive, are the ones who judge kids impulsively.

Kids are completely developed personalities which adapt and grow as they become adults, the key to understanding children is the same as understanding anyone and that is to see and judge them by putting yourselves in their shoes. Kids have ego, humility, self-respect, expectations, ambitions and perception. When you scold a child in front of his/her friends, he/she would feel equally humiliated compared to a grown human being disrespected in front of his friend and colleagues. The assumption that kids don’t get depressed or stressed just because their problems are small compared to yours, or that their social interactions and what they face are easy and childish. Let me tell you, you are wrong and this is affecting your kid, being a nerdy naive kid and trying to be accepted by others is hard as any other thing. Don’t just tell your kids to stop complaining or crying, ask them what’s wrong and help them as a friend. If they do something harmful to themselves and they are sad, don’t scold them, console them. Would you scold a person who is unhappy or would you sympathize with him/her? Kids who are irritating and needy are always unhappy inside.

Lastly, the problem with society is that it needs to recognize that psychological pain is as grave as physical pain. Most society doesn’t acknowledge this for adults, they probably don’t acknowledge this even a little for kids. Children face stress and depression more grave than ours. I was relentlessly bullied in school because I was fat and the boys would make fun of my “fat ass”, I was scared, naive and didn’t tell my parents about it, fearing that if the boys found out they would bully me more or worse beat me up. I got irritating and hot-tempered at home then, I didn’t want to study, I didn’t want to meet anyone. Video games and books were my only salvation back then. My parents scolded me for not studying, I was so weak that every time I tried to argue back I started to swell up and didn’t argue further. They misjudged me, like all adults misjudge kids, not because they didn’t care, but because they didn’t know, because kids don’t know about therapy or that they should disclose their problems, they only know fear and when adults scold them or caution them for every mistake, how do you think a kid would learn to accept his confess his mistakes and accept them? Just because a kid is a child and apparently has no big worries in life, like you do, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have weight on his shoulders like you do. No problem is bigger or smaller for the one who is facing it.

I am 21 years old and my best friend is my 14-year-old cousin, we have been best friends since he was 5. His mom and brothers think I am a loser who doesn’t have any friends his age, maybe I am a loser for others in this sense, because I really don’t have many close friends my age, my past has scarred me but not damaged me enough that I would give up my principles by abandoning the innocent for the fun and ecstasy of the misled   and become like the people I always hated(the one’s who only cared about height and status), I enjoy the innocence of his company, the insight-fullness of his questions, his love for me. I feel proud to make friends with a happy innocent soul. I understand him, give him advice. He has the same situation I had, he has brothers way older than him, and no cousins his age either, I was the friend he needed and came to. I will always be his friend so that he never feels like I did. Be your children’s friends, hear them out as you would hear out a person’s last wish on his death-bed, answer them as if their question was as important as the one that would win you a million dollar lottery and try to understand them as you would try to understand a wise scholar.

P.S I love my parents, I am nothing without them, whatever I have, I owe it to them. I don’t blame them for anything, because it was not their fault that I was bullied, they always did the best for me according to them and the way they were raised. It was the bullies fault and of society, that we have not developed or matured enough to understand children properly.

 

 

 

 

 

Melody of the Week – Yadegare Doost

I decided to started this section because:

• I always listen to music whenever I read or write, some people think it diverts concentration, but I think it soothes the soul and puts you in a place the article you are reading or writing wants to.
• Music is food for the soul, I think everyone should enjoy music and I want to share what I hear and like so that other people can listen to it too and enjoy it as much as I did.
• I want to appreciate the people who have helped me grow as a person and writer on my fairly new blogging journey, honored to have known all of you.

P.S. if you look at my blog’s header you might see the shape of a guitar.

Rumi’s Yadegare Doost by Shahrem Nazeri

This is Rumi’s poem named “Yadegare Doost” (Persian, it means either ‘To rememer a friend’ or ‘In remembrance of a friend’) sung by Shahrem Nazeri, this is in Persian and sung in their dialect. I don’t know it’s translation and couldn’t find one. I am currently trying to translate this into English with my father’s aid, who knows persian very well, the only constraint is we don’t get much free time together. If any native Persian or anyone does know its translation do share, I will be very grateful. This is very beautiful and unique even for a fan of Oriental, Arabic and Persian music and literature, give it a hear, you will love it.

 

Whenever I hear this, I always feel like sitting in the window of an old Spanish or Arabic tavern, with the morning sky, the sunrise over the minarets and domes of the mosques dominating the skyline and an old man singing this loud and playing the instruments right down the street.

A special mention to Rameen, a dear friend and great blogger, check out her awesome blog by clicking the link below.

https://blogitwithrameen.wordpress.com/

via Melody of the Week

Verse of the Week – Kahlil Gibran

Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow. ― Kahlil Gibran

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What should true Feminism be?

Girl in the Moonlight

Women have had to struggle for rights throughout history, up til the 20th century women weren’t even allowed to vote. Most nations have always objectified women, classified them as partners just needed to start a family or please their husbands. Maybe the only thing a woman was not classified as was “Person”. The treatment was pretty much the same for all rich and poor, women belonging to rich families had a better way of life but still there was little freedom for them, most of them were betrothed to rich aristocrats from a very early age, and their behavior was determined by others, they were always told how to act like a proper lady, and any variation from that specific behavior was deemed unworthy of a lady. The poor women had no choice at all, most were born in a large family, so they would spend all their life from working in their father’s house to working in their husband’s. Other than this women have been deprived of rights in all departments in most civilizations.

Today the struggle to promote feminism is plenty and prevailing, most of the developed world has recognized that women are as personable as men. But the question on everyone’s mind is “are men and women equal?”

I have the utmost respect for women, they are the foundations for the progress of any nation, without them humanity would be lost. They have always been the symbol of love, kindness, hope, strength, inspiration and humanity. The highest regard any woman could personally achieve is that of a mother, by this I don’t mean to say that a woman’s biggest purpose should be becoming a mother. What I mean to say is that mothers are the best, purest form of not only women, but all human beings. Mothers prove that women are the most strong-willed, sincere, kind, loving and purest of individuals. A mother selflessly loves her children from the day they are born to the end of her days. For me, my Mother is the best blessing I could ever have and by saying this I mean that everything I am, or are capable of doing is because of my mother.

Mother and Baby Bird

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.

I have always found the differences and similarities between men and women fascinating. Society should realize that both genders can learn so much from each other by embracing each others qualities.

I don’t believe men and women are, will or should be equal but I do believe that men and women should be treated equally.  Any woman should be treated equally, not just to men but, to any other human. It’s simple really, every person is unique, no person is identical or equal to another. Classifying and judging a person’s importance and role in society by comparing him to others is unfair to that person’s uniqueness. We should understand that classifying humans as “men” and “women” is a process based on biological and genetic differences. But how the way society treats both should not be determined on these bases. Women have so many qualities that men don’t, this makes them unique and declaring men and women equal is belittling to both. How would you feel if someone identified and judged you in association with someone else rather than by your qualities and character? People often credit other’s failures and success to their parents, siblings, nationality, race, culture and other humans. So many times we hear someone saying “what did you expect from her/him, he/she belongs to that family” or “of course he/she is pathetic, he/she is Mr Doe’s child” or “People from that area are dumb and ugly”.You would probably be offended by this and feel neglected and misjudged.

The same goes for gender generalizations and biases, I’ve seen a lot of so-called “Feminists” saying “All men are trash” or “All men are pigs”. I am sorry but this is not feminism, and these people are not feminists. How are you better than these so-called “Meninists” or “Anti Feminists” if you make the same generalizations as they do like “Blondes are stupid” or “Women don’t know how to drive”. This way of thinking gives a bad name to respectable women who are actually working hard for rights, promoting women empowerment, struggling to save women who are the victims of cultural and social superstitions.

Women are what men are not and men are what women aren’t and these differences in them are blissful and perfectly align to make society. What we all need to understand is that all women are different from each other and so are all men, every individual should make up his own standards and we should treat everyone equally but judge them individually for who they are.

In a nutshell, Feminism should be about the majesty of being a woman. Mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, engineers, doctors, athletes, workers, artists, politicians, astronauts, scientists, explorers, executives, leaders, there is nothing women can’t achieve or be except that they can’t be men, because they are unique and better in their own unique way, the same goes for men. Why would both want others to judge them by the limitations and qualities of each other rather than their own? Feminism is the struggle for women recognition and its celebration. It is the struggle for the basic right that women should be treated and judged the same way society treats and judges men. It is the fight that all humans be judged without bias on what their gender is.

“…and women have rights similar to those against them in a just manner,…” (Holy Qur’an, 2:228).

Verse of the Week – Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. – Robert Frost

via Verse of the Week

Verse of the Week – Kahlil Gibran

“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.” ― Kahlil Gibran

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